DBT SKILL - V.I.T.A.L.S.
Yes, for the second week in a row, it's the Heart Warrior. It's Mark's favorite though and fits the title best!
Hello Warriors!
It has been a minute since I've written about a DBT skill for Mark's page. I personally have been isolating a bit, which is scary for me since summer is usually my best time of the year emotionally.
I don't think I'm alone.
Do you find yourself becoming increasingly stressed or feeling like there's just too much to do? Or does your small business have one too many steps this month to feel successful? Me too. I do have several diagnoses from before COVID. However, the pandemic has negatively and ongoingly affected us all. It's traumatic, and nobody should feel bad or as though they need to defend their post-COVID strain.
There's something I just love about this picture when I think of loneliness
I use post-COVID loosely. I know it's here forever, but for this article, I'm referring to being shut in for months with no human contact and wondering where we will find money to support our families. I don't think enough people give themselves credit for the way we have come together and tried to put our lives back together.
I'm proud of you all.
Today, I would love to share the DBT skill VITALS. This skill is your basic checking in with yourself and seeing the victories you have accomplished, even when they are small. It's hard to move forward right now, and you shouldn't stay stuck in the guilt of thinking I used to get so much more done. Why can't I do it now? I'm still me. I'm not stuck at home without work. I know I can do this. So why am I failing? I can't stress enough that you are doing it, and you will continue to. It just looks different now.
For some of you, this might be your first time trying to deal with the aftermath of trauma. You might not be aware of all the stigma around depression and anxiety. You might not be prepared for the attitude some people have towards others who don't bounce back as quickly as others. You know from my previous posts that people break differently, so I won't revisit that, but you can find that article here.
I do want to encourage you to keep the shit out and let the love and understanding you can give yourself in.
Please feel free to save and use this skill for free!
Validate your feelings: Most of us are conditioned to think that the more mature we become, the less things get to us. This isn't true. Many things impact our ability to regulate emotions. Some people simply aren't born with the same capabilities. Some never had them taught to them as children. Some experience trauma and lose their ability to regulate.
Whatever the cause, we don't all understand how to handle our feelings. We push them away, dissociate, or become overly emotional, even about small things. Rewiring our brain to process and feel things is not easy, but there are other skills to help with just this step.
Imagine what a peaceful day would look or feel like: This is not meant as manifestation. This is a different practice, and I'm only adding this as clarification, not a pro or con statement about the practice itself. Our minds are an interesting place where imagination can help us let go of whatever overwhelming feeling we are experiencing and help us focus on something new. With trauma especially, while we do have to process, we also want to be careful with the way triggers like to replay continuously. Imagining a peaceful mind isn't meant for the moment of true feelings when it's essential to accept the feeling itself. It's intended for the aftermath when our brains are misfiring our fight or flight response repeatedly.
Take small steps: Don't focus on the steps of others. Don't focus on how fast others are going compared to you. Keep your eyes on the goal or dream you are pursuing unapologetically. Soon enough, you will be shocked at how far all those little steps took you. And again, I am so proud!! You should be, too, just to decide to start to move.
Applaud yourself: I don't care if you are jumping up and down and nobody but you get why it's such a big deal to take a step! Celebrate and see just how far you can go when you feel passionate and inspired.
Lighten the load: I struggle with this one big time! I feel bad when I take breaks (thanks to years of working in a grocery store environment). Sometimes, I forget to eat or eat poorly. Personally, I have to set alarms to remember because it is so important to have those breaks to process and unwind. This also helps us learn to regulate our emotions by giving us the time to do so.
Sweeten the pot: For me, this one is directly connected to the previous one! If there's a new series you want to watch but feel guilty taking a break, lighten your load by watching a designated amount of that show! This is also an area to set alarms since most of us binge-watch these days. This one can be any form of self-care that is healthy for you!
I hope this information is useful. I'm so glad you're on Mark's page to find inspiration and encouragement.
Have a wonderful week!!!
Tifa Strife
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