Process Instead of Overthink!
Good evening, Warriors!
This topic is rough. We've briefly discussed it before, but it's time to cover it in depth. As you know, Mark and I (Tiff) have both started our businesses in the last year or so. It's had ups and downs, and both of us as individuals struggle with depression. We've gone over radical acceptance for past trauma and when we mess up, but today is about the radical acceptance that comes with things not going the way we envisioned them to. As most of our friends reading this blog are also small business owners, I'm sure you can relate!
Coincidentally, Mark stopped working for his employer shortly after creating The Warrior's Will. This was especially scary because most businesses report losses for the first two years. Even though purchasing a building wasn't in the mix, having a new business as your only income is pretty remarkable. I am so proud of Mark and everything he has done with his platforms! He is consistent, engaging, and loves to love everyone around him.
You may remember him mentioning back in May that he was becoming rather unsure of whether he could continue without a regular job on the side. Well, now summer is over, and his situation hasn't changed much. He steadily connects with new people and engages with current followers, but that only sometimes translates into a lucrative business. At this point, he really has two options as he starts to consider a new way forward.
(Pictured above - Atlas doomed to hold the heavens on his back for eternity.
This was the only photo I could find without naughty bits. You're welcome.)
Mark can:
*Self-hate, over-worry, and torture himself with what he could've done better.
OR
*Practice Radical Acceptance in his unstable situation.
To be clear, you don't have to approve of or even like a situation to accept it.
The entire point of this distress tolerance DBT Skill is to minimize suffering while also acknowledging that denying, throwing a tantrum, and/or self-hating won't actually change the facts of the situation you are in. This combats the jadedness, unhappiness, and frustration by freeing up the mental energy spent on unhelpful cycles. We can then take that energy and use it to cope and plan for the next step, even if it's small.
In Mark's case, the future of The Warrior's Will is still up in the air. It might sink, it might swim. However, processing these feelings is still important. He can be hopeful for a future without taking more risks for the time being. He can prepare to work a regular job and still find his company has a place.
It doesn't matter what the outcome is. It matters how Mark's mental space is doing.
With that, I give you the DBT Skill: Radical Acceptance:
You might not be facing the end of the world, but learning this process of acceptance and working through emotions so you can let them go can be beneficial for many areas in life!
Which one do you think is the hardest? Let me know in the comments!
